My Dearest Gar
by drowningmysorrow
Summary: Disclaimer: People if I owned the Titans then I wouldn't be writing this stuff, would I? Raven writes a letter to 'Her Dearest Gar' You can make it a BBxRae if you want ;D Rated T for hinted adult situations, death hopes, and one curse word ;D


My Dearest Dear Gar,

I know you hate your name. Your real one. I wanted you to know, before I left, Goodbye. I am leaving for various reasons and you are one of them. But hey don't fret or hate yourself. It's my fault.

I was idiotic enough to fall for someone who was already taken and engaged to HIS true and first love. So please tell the others I left because I was a danger to them. Or if you wish to humiliate me one last time, you may tell them the real reason I left.

Because I fell for you.

Terra told me to back off and almost killed me while doing so, but don't be mad she was just making it clear, that I was nothing to you.

Remember yesterday, when you and Terra were making out on the couch in plan view. If my hood hadn't been up you would have made the mistake of seeing my hidden pain. But don't worry, I didn't let you see it. But one person did see it. He pulled me aside and questioned me during a battle of ours.

He had been spying on me. He said he liked me and if we could go on date. But before that he was worried. I guess my expression was worse than I thought. I agreed to go out with him to ease my pain and make him happy, and you happy.

I would ruin your whole world if you knew I - so our date was going fine until he decided to have some fun. Turns out he didn't like me, only my body.

After he was finished, I just blacked out, and after I woke up I got dressed and went to the tower and slowly died on the inside. I wonder if you can tell who this man is. But take a guess.

No not Slade.

Not Mod.

Not Adonis.

I'll tell you who it is if you don't know.

Red X.

Hope he enjoys the gift I sent him. He is most likely dead on the inside like me. I bet he even peed his pants. That would be a comical site. I bet he thought about suicide. I bet he's dead right now. I hope that. Because I will see him in Hell. I'll let him meet my father.

Back to topic.

As I died on the inside I wrote. I drew. I sealed the envelope and wrote a name on it.

Your name.

Can you guess what door I dropped it at?

Your door.

Can you guess who found my original letter?

Your fiancée.

Can you guess what she did after finding and reading your personal letter from me?

She told me off, and nearly killed me.

But hey, she had the right. I mean the Girls Code says 'every girl has the right to approach another girl trying to steal there guy'. Who can argue with 'The Code'? Definitely not me. The purple haired freak. Who doesn't fit in with the normal people? Maybe Starfire could fight 'the Code'. Not me.

So I decided that (it is fairly easy to see that Terra is never leaving you and reverse) I wanted to leave. I've had enough of this love fest shit.

I just wanted you to know one more thing.

The reason I put it outside of your door, with your name on it, written to you and only you is because…

I don't think I can say it. It would kill me. I've already had a few of my emotions die. Well here it goes…

I love you. More than a friend. I think you can catch my drift.

So I abandon all my dreams, and wishes, and chances at happiness so you will not regret the rash decision you make of breaking my heart. I can already imagine what that scene would look like and it breaks my heart. But if it were to happen in real life… it would shatter my heart into a million un-seeable pieces. So many pieces it couldn't be repaired.

So I lay everything, and I mean everything, down for the one I love.

I've stripped everybody's memory of me except for you. You can have the gift of knowing everything about me. The only thing I couldn't take away from you was the memory of me. I want someone to come to my funeral, at least the person I loved and gave up all happiness for.

So hear me out,

Here are my simple wishes:

1) Come to my funeral.

2) Enjoy your wedding.

3) Enjoy your wife.

4) Don't ever mention my name to the others it could give them there memories of me back.

5) Tell Terra how much you really love her.

6) Take all of my things (Including nameplate) and drop them off at this address :

16129 Raven Road Jump City, California

7) When you see me next time, don't lie to me, or kill me.

8) Don't out anything on my grave when (if) you come to my funeral.

9) Think every decision you make over.

10) This is the most important.

Try to forget about this letter and what I've told you. Think of me as a friend.

Thanks for hearing me out.

You are my dearest Gar.

With unreturned love,

Raven Roth

(Try to move past my decisions. I hope you can forgive me for leaving and not attending any special events in the future. I most likely will though. Don't look for me though. I really need to stay away from you, so I don't feel even crappier than I do now.)


End file.
